so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
