She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
