I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
