ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
