so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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