Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
