I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My dick has a subreddit
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
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