now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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