Just cropdusted the office
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
