I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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