He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
