what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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