I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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