the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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