pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
