I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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