Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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