is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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