plz talk dirty to me
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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