Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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