What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think your dad took our porno
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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