We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
