Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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