Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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