Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
