K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
