My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
