I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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