I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
