Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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