go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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