I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
