he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
