Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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