I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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