you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
