You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
