CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
