after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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