Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
