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Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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