this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
