i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
