Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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