Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
