We won't sleep together?
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
