I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
