Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
