Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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