i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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