She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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