farters have to be the big spoon...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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