I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
