so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
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Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
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He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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