And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
