I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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