exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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