I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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