you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
