what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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