I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize