Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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